The Typical People at Your Gym

Going to the gym three to five times a week you come across some ridiculous people and question why they are really there and what exactly they’re doing, the following is a list of the type of people most gyms have:

The Cell Phone Guy – In between each set he takes out his phone which is placed next to whatever he is doing and texts for an absurd amount of time.  Ask him if he’s almost done he doesn’t respond because he’s so focused on his text.  Then proceeds to use whatever he is doing for 30 minutes.

The Pants Guy – Why are you wearing pants?  If you’re worried about your toothpick legs stop doing your sixteenth set of biceps or tricep kickbacks and do some squats.

The Jacked Guy – Everyone just takes not of the jacked guy, can’t even straighten his arms and does an unearthly amount of weight.

Briefcases – Everyone has seen this guy jacked upperbody, does so many bicep curls he can’t straighten his arms and looks like he’s carrying around two heavy suitcases.

The Average Guy – You seem him everyday that you go, he’s there before you get there and is still there after you leave.  Yet he’s still doing the same weight that he’s been doing for the past three years.

The Supplement King – Walks in holding his plastic container of pre-workout fluid.  He drinks that, then takes out some type of powder-mixes that, drinks that throughout his lift occasionally popping some type of pill.  Post workout takes out his entire container of muscle milk and makes his protein shake in the middle of the gym.

Can I get  a spot? – The kid that asks for a spot when he’s benching 95 pounds for 24 reps.

I’m on that guy – You try and go to the squat rack and you hear  “I’m on that.”  You move to the dumbells, and the same guy who is 50 feet away mid squat tells you “he’s on that.”  Move to the bench you hear from sixty feet away “I’m on that.”

The I don’t rack my weights guy – Just finished a set of squats with 315 on the rack.  You’ve been waiting for him to finish up, he finishes but leaves all his weights on–thanks buddy.

The Couple – Why are you lifting with your girlfriend/boyfriend?

The Old Guy – You know he’s been lifting for over 50 years, brings his own weight belt, doesn’t warm up and squats 600 pounds.

The Mirror Guy – CONSTANTLY staring in the mirror, both at you and at himself.  Occasionally lifting up his shirt to “wipe sweat away” but really checking out the abs he doesn’t have.

The Hat Guy – The gym isn’t sunny.

Jacked Girl – This girl was at the gym three times already, and is still destroying weights and the tredmill.

The Jacked Guy


About nrestivo

Graduate of the University of Tennessee. Freelance writer at Complex Magazine in New York City, learning from some of the best. Tweet me @nrestivo
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